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Reverse the spiral of procrastination!

The spiral of procrastination works like this:

lowering mood causes procrastination, procrastination
causes lower self-esteem, self-esteem leads to the lowering of new lowering of mood, and so on.

In essence, the mood is more bass tend to procrastinate, the more it tends to defer more it changes the mood.

E 'need to reverse this trend. Here are some tips: 1

Council: if you were tired, rest.

Council 2: If the problem is not fatigue, could be an excessive perfectionism. Accept a lower quality for themselves.

Council 3: If the problem is not fatigue or perfectionism, might be discouraged by the lack of results. Finding a job that makes alternative to express their skills and give satisfaction.

Council 4 : If the problem is not fatigue, perfectionism, lack of results, you may perceive that the task too difficult or long. Break up tasks into more affordable.

Whatever the right advice for you, the important thing is to stop the spiral. The spiral is fed through the "don'ts", so to reverse it should instead do something. Once reversed the direction of the spiral of procrastination, here's what happens:

action determines the outcome, the result determines a higher mood, the mood higher self-esteem leads to higher, higher self-esteem leads to new action, and so on.

, if known, in this second spiral is an extra step, one that affects the action. That is why the positive spiral requires more energy ...

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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Inside or out!

We tend to disapprove of people who can not decide. But do not make decisions is a false problem, because it is impossible not to decide. The decision is not in fact a decision. If one should do one thing and delays in doing it, are choosing to delay in doing it. Although he is not aware. If one does not like a situation and not change, is deciding to keep it.

The problem, therefore, is not not make a decision: there is rather a more serious problem that we are suffering. It 's the not convinced of its decision. That is to say, when we are in a situation and we do not like, in whole or in part, if we wait for something without changing anything, we are actually accepted. But we are not convinced. And so we transform our lives in a meaningless limbo, where things are being pursued without conviction.

When we are not convinced we lose power, and the results tend to be negative. We tell ourselves that we are waiting to take the right decision, but it is not.

is why, whatever the situation where we are, we must be aware that this is a decision, and if it is a decision we have to be convinced. We have to be inside. That means acting like it was the best choice we could do. Otherwise, if we are not convinced it out. You change. But if you act confident.

So if you're not convinced of a situation or change it or convince. But do not be there to tell you that you have to decide, you've already decided.

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment, 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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Are you a leader? look at how to communicate ...

Communication is not the same for everyone. Its impact is greatly enhanced by the role that has the communicator.

The basic rule is that the greater the power-related role, the greater should be the 'understatement of the communicator. It 'a principle developed by Robert Dilenschneider, guru of the global crisis management. Essentially says that you have more power, more need to shut up. One thing said by those who have power have a stronger impact dramatically on the same thing said by those who do not.

Therefore, if the Chairman of the call to the police station to ask about a person stop, can not say it did not urge. According to the rule Dilenschneider, the call is the same pressure. The mere fact of turning up the phone and make your name mean pressure.

And since all behavior is communication, all the behavior of those who have power have a strong impact in terms of example, because others will regulate their behavior according to that. In navy, the young cadets are told: "If you sit, others lie down." Ponder, head, meditate.

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment - All Rights Reserved

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The worst defense is attack

How many times have you experienced the attack of someone at work or in private life?

People usually attack when they are in a position of weakness. In fact, if they were in a position of strength would not need to attack to get what they want. Attacking think they get more. But it is wrong.

It also says Karl Von Clausewitz, the greatest military strategist of all time. And 'the defender that starts from a position of advantage. Not the attacker. Calusewitz rules were used in the game of Risk, where it gets the better of the defender.

Think about it, when someone is angry with you. Assume that you are in a favorable condition, and be careful not to complicate rather, with your reaction to the situation.

But think about it even if you get the urge to attack someone. Reflect on the fact that, since one has to defend, starting from a position of advantage. And maybe, forget it.

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment, 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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Questions about leadership

The other night I heard my friend Alex on the phone for work purposes. But before addressing the issues for which we were calling, we started to talk about leadership. Support the thesis that leadership is, first of all, the ability to not make compromises with themselves and express their will and their wishes. Alessio

Then I wrote a long mail, it opens a series of questions. I find it beautiful, like everything that does not give answers but sobering. For this reason I report below the most important piece.

is a leader who knows how to say no, or who agrees to say yes? It is a leader in that country who send the "system" or those who can join? It is a leader who does not compromise (with himself, with others), or who is accepting the way of life? It is a leader who suffer their excesses or who controls them? It is a leader who can communicate with all, or who builds barriers?

If someone can not speak to me directly, and I held it all inside, and I feel that there is a barrier and I think that I'm not one who can build bridges, but only the walls, I know I'm not a leader ...

I could try to justify a life lived outside the norms and conventions, you probably stop talking about leadership, goals and objectives, to influence and control, affirmation, recognition, but really imagining a world without compromise. If you think about who is living his life fully, would it change anything?

Those who live their lives fully, free from restrictions and constraints? Who can say no, or who agrees to say yes? Who sends to that country the "system" or those who agree to be part of it? Who does not compromise or who finds a way to live accepting them?

The beauty of good questions asked, is that you can quickly find the answers ... Thanks Alex.

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment - Alessia Musso 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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plays down!

Look at the picture nearby. You've probably recognized the graphics that many of those posters hanging on the walls of their offices to make them more pleasing, because the photos are always evocative, and to try to give a little 'of psychological panache. These are called "motivators."

To me, personally, I never liked very much. I find them a bit 'rhetoric. I always thought that if one needs to hang on the walls motivators, means that it is able to motivate and to motivate.

I was not alone in thinking one thing: someone has gone even further. Look carefully the words under the word "motivation". "If a pretty poster and a cute have written all that it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very simple work. It will do very soon some nice robots." Fantastic. And if you go to the site will http://despair.com/viewall.html trovarai dozens.

It is the "unmotivated." There are posters in every way equal to those motivational, but with phrases that leave you speechless. A few examples: "Errors - maybe your life's purpose is only to be a warning to others"; "Meetings - none of us is as stupid as all of us together," "Bad luck - and good luck to you often avoids this but do not budge. " The despair

Inc., which produces them, has a theory: the motivational products raise expectations and create too much anxiety, so they bring expectations to the right place, and, paradoxically, they lowered the motivation to recover. The principle is not wrong, we are motivated when the reality is face and the goals are attainable. If an idealized reality is, we perceive it as distant and there is reason for some. So be indicated at the right level.

In any case, what I think is important is that we know how to laugh at ourselves, how often we are with our rhetorical and idealistic concepts of teamwork, success, leadership. Sometimes, knowing how to defuse and teasing makes a lot more energy. Feel this, "Leader (with the beautiful image of an eagle) - Leaders are like eagles. You do not see." Is not it great? Good motivation!


(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment - All Rights Reserved

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Zoom out!

Almost always, when there is a problem, we tend to focus too much on it. This intensifies our negativity, our rage, worsening the situation.


Yesterday my child has fallen into a game-Morris (Story City) by downloading a "app" free dall'iPad, which contained in fact a game fee. Unaware that the claims were related to the game for real money, has taken $ 500 by credit card. A vile found to cheat the children, of which I am surprised that Apple is tricky business.


You can imagine the mood of my disappointment and my wife while activating the channels available for resolving the problem (with Apple's customer care virtually non-existent). In these moments really negativity can easily take over.


So what? The answer is: zoom out. Expand the field.


When you have a problem, restricting the scope of the problem is useless. Lose the perception of reality. You must put the problem in a broader perspective, to recover balance and ability to judge. Zoom out. Ok, we risk losing $ 500. But enlarging the field: no one was hurt, nobody lost their job, your house is still there.


Zooming out helps to debate this issue again with greater confidence. Remember, now that you're going to come back from holidays and re-examined the problems in the workplace. Zoom out.




(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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Our quality of life depends largely on the quality of our thinking. The thought does not reproduce reality, but reconstructs it and repeats it there, and in light of this reality reconstructed with fatigue or we react with enthusiasm. TF! exists to ensure that thought can offer a useful reality, namely that both vitamin E that allows to generate energy. But how to ensure that thought is 100% fresh?


The thought is not fresh when it is "processed", that is modified so that it loses its vitamins. It must be born cool and kept fresh. But what does all this mean?


thought loses its crispness when subjected to the filtering of three processes. These three processes deplete the incoming information and thus the our emotions, our ideas and our motivation degrade in quality. It 'should therefore avoid these three processes. Here they are:
1) Filtering I like / I do not like
2) Filtering good / bad;
3) Filtering right / wrong.


If as we face the reality of these three processes are active, incoming information will be reduced, altered, distorted. Lose the freshness needed to produce new ideas, generate motivation, to keep calm. With these three active processes will not give our minds to grow. Are processes that activate defenses, and therefore should be used only when there is a risk of a loss of value. But it is often unnecessarily always active.


keep the vitamins of the thought! When we look at the reality we avoid selecting the information in cataloging what we like or what we do not like what is right or wrong, what is good or bad. We will live better and we will have the right balance to make the best choices.




(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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LMP - Liquid Mind Process

Many were thrilled by "Liquid Mind" and asked me what are the phases of the LMP. Here they are:


1 - All around you melts. See all slowly deform and melt becoming liquid.


2 - Interact with what is around you, touch the liquid consistency of things and you hear the temperature.


3 - You yourself will gradually dissolve and will fund the cash that surrounds you


4 - even your mind gradually becomes liquid, undifferentiated from the surrounding liquid.


In Phase 2, you should use senses and creativity, such as "feel" the liquid to the floor under their feet when walking. The duration of the process is the discretion of those who experience it.


( C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved for text, and LMP Liquid Mind - Liquid Mind Process

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I do not care, I am

Exactly one year ago, the night of August 12, 2009 Ginetta left us after a long period of suffering. The "Aunt Ginetta" was not only an aunt, also my teacher. Very good psychologist. And 'she who taught me, since I was young, the most important things to understand and improve the people. Some of his insights preceding decades, some of the findings of positive psychology.

When I spent some hard time she did not hesitate to make himself available. And when I said "not concerned at", I always respond with the same phrase: I do not worry, I am . Ready to do something, irrespective of the problem. It 's so that I remember when I think of her.

Thanks "Auntie Gin," I had a great fortune to work with you, and know that you always quote in my classes.

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Liquid Mind!

The "brain fluid" is a state of psycho-physical balance that allows for greater peace of mind, quickness of action and energy.


We start by considering that the liquid is a very important condition for our biological memory. It 'a condition in which the human being is in the womb, and thus the most active experimentation primordial channel.


Why we can relax in front of the sea? Why do we observe the waves, we perceive the sound, we feel the wetness. Our mind is in resonance with the external reality and responds to it, taking on the characteristics. Assumes the liquid state of mind.


E 'can reproduce this state? Certainly. With the process LMP (Liquid Mind Process), which can be activated at any time and unlike other relaxation techniques do not require sleep, can also be exercised in business, at any time of day. Let now with the basic steps.


simply imagine that everything in front of you, slowly melt. The objects around you become liquid. You see them gradually lose consistency, warp, merge with each other just like the candle wax or ice cream. All around you gradually loses its shape and becomes liquid. Look at them. Have fun watching them as they become inconsistent.


After a few minutes will feel a greater sense of balance. The process leads to peace, as in the mind activates the natural dynamics of the flow. It causes less dramatic and a sense of this, as reactivates awareness of impermanence. Positivity in the wake induces the perception side.



( C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved for text, and LMP Liquid Mind - Liquid Mind Process

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The rule of "five to one" Via

Contact with the other produces emotions. These are emotions to determine the quality of the report. Thus, a positive emotion indicates a high level of quality, while a negative one indicates a low level.


The rule of "five to one" indicates what is the relationship because a relationship is healthy, positive and negative interactions between interactions. This means that it is absolutely normal that you experience problems, clashes, conflicts. Why things are good does not mean that they should always go well. Indeed. When we work in a team, when we are with a colleague, when talking with a friend, when we establish a discussion with the wife, husband or son is natural that it can enter into a tense situation.


The important thing is that the number of situations of tension, and then emotions negative experience does not exceed the threshold value. The threshold value is, in fact, a negative situation every five positive. The more frequent negative situations than five positive, more worry. If you get along for once or twice and then once you experience stress in the third, the case is whether there is anything that you are breaking and it's already compromised.


Please monitored the quality of interaction, and before you leave or trigger off a tense moment, ask yourself, how many times in recent years, we have interacted positively? if the number is less than five, wait next time.


(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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those wheels! The bell of the 3 Rs

When I removed the wheels to biciclettina of my child, he was not happy at all. In fact, entered into anxiety. The wheels do not get used to ride a bike, because you just go and ride with the handlebars. If there were no wheels the baby would fall. But he is quiet: they are here, and we will not make any effort to develop a sense of balance.

The only way to really learn to ride a bicycle to be afraid of falling. It will be the only time that we give to do to stay in balance. Solving the problem, learn to ride a bike.

skills most important in life does not prepare: occurring on the time of need, when you need them. But then put forward, and we try to reject it. My child, the first time he experienced the bike without wheels, he asked me to forgive. If I did, he never learned to go there. He then had to face and overcome the his anxiety.

For this let us ask ourselves: what are the wheels right now I'm taking? How do I disassemble? I am willing to live in some state of anxiety as inevitable? If I know it will be assured of my personal growth.

's why I say: it is facing the very situations that you would like to avoid. Let me Levin wheels. Or take it off yourself. In each case: off those wheels!

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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You will sometimes hear sound the alarm, even in some public place. The reaction is usually an early activation: an attempt to understand if something important has happened. But in most cases, the doorbell rings at all: maybe someone has inadvertently opened a door of an emergency.

One thing is certain: if the sound of the bell continues, after a while 'growing discomfort and impatience. It 'so to disable the alarm.

Now, imagine that the sound of the alarm lights on for hours, days. Do not take it with him who should disable? Not would feel totally stupid to leave anything to play a bell?

Well, we know that the bell of the three r's do exactly that. The bell is a bell of the three Rs interior, which is activated as soon as you open our minds, even inadvertently, an emergency door. But then remains on until you disable it.

But what is this bell? The three Rs are three sensations that you already know: Remorse, Regret, Regret. Are addressed in the past, so useless. Their usefulness is precisely that of the alarm. They are active in this to indicate a situation that could potentially repeat negative past experiences. Their role is to avoid repeating mistakes. But then just: no longer needed at all. The bell goes off. But often we're there to mull over, to rethink, in Martorano. In this case the bell not shut down, stays on. Unnecessarily.

But as the bell goes off? Simple. When you activate one of the three Rs (Remorse, Regret, Regret), if it persists it means that we are working to respond to the situation reported by the alarm. Therefore we must ask: why is activated? What can I do, even minimal, to solve the problem on? As the bell for real, even for the inner solution is one: the action.


(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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The proof of the facts.

In his masterpiece Catcher in the Rye Salinger describes a situation where a woman is moved to tears in a cinema during a screening of the film. But the protagonist warns: If you think that this woman had a tender heart, think again. "I was close behind her, with her was a boy who was bored to death and needed to go to the toilet, and she did not have wanted to bring. He kept telling him to sit still and do good. His heart wheat pretty much like a wolf, boy. "

Here is the proof of the facts. Beyond what people show, beyond what it says, beyond what appears to us, we submit other evidence of the facts. We check us directly actual reality, Let's face even if consciousness is not within our expectations and the way in which we are accustomed to seeing.

A friend says you're the person who most esteem in the world but you never call? The number of calls is evidence of the facts. A customer said he valued immensely but uses other suppliers? What occurs to you is proof of the facts. A boss says you're good, but gives rise to someone else? How much money you receive is proof of the facts. A colleague says to appreciate your work but then makes a decision that penalizes you? The decision which it is proof of the facts.

We often stop to what appears to us that we say, that make us believe. We react to the idea of \u200b\u200bthe behavior of others, not to the actual behavior. Why? Because often we are afraid of the conclusions we reach. He begins to put the image you have of the other evidence of the facts. Do not judge you: let them judge. You'll see how quickly you change your mind on many people.

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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The antidote to anger attacks

Those who do not test at times fits of rage? I Have tried one yesterday on the plane. In the row next to mine there was a guy who read the newspaper, known newspaper, in which soared on the first page entitled "Israel was right to shoot", justifying a massacre of peace throughout the world and condemned as both unnecessary and wrong by the Israelis themselves. I wanted to take that paper and rag in the face.

What to do when we are attacked by fits of rage? Simple: Use the antidote to anger, and it disappears. The antidote to anger is called curiosity. We need to transform anger into curiosity. Pure curiosity.

And so I asked "but why the newspaper chose to publish a title so offensive? What has prompted its director has expressed himself so useless? Why have you decided if you expose themselves and the well-known owner of a show so depressing? And this guy, why would you drink this news aggressive and manipulated? "So instead of looking at him with suspicion, I began to look at him with curiosity, the spirit of those who truly want to understand.

feel anger when we do not understand a phenomenon, I do not accept and we are powerless in front of it. In this process the anger because we succeeded in the role of the actors, but we can not act. Well, if we do not let us in the role of spectators, and try to understand. we will immediately more relaxed.

So, the more curious I felt more relaxed and felt more at bottom a sense of pain for that player, for that newspaper editor and that editor.

Curiosity has a great advantage: it always leads to an answer. That certainly is serene, wise, balanced.


(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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Surfing between emotions

Thomas, a participant of my last class, during lunch the first day was stained with a drop of oil. Using water to solve the problem groped scored bell'alone a diameter of ten centimeters. We can understand his disappointment: he had, that night, hanging out with some friends and would not go home to change: 50 km to and were far too many. He decided to leave the same. All in all would go into a room not too alone to be enlightened and in spite of the evidence, constituted an advantage over the stain because it would be seen less.

"Once we decided to go out," Thomas told the second day of the course, "I never thought about the bush but I concentrated on my friends. In the spot I remembered once I came home and spent a nice evening .

Thomas has "surfed" from one reality to another. Its focus has shifted from one reality to negative emotionality (The spot) to a reality to positive emotionality (friends). The technique of

Transurfing Reality is in recognizing when an idea is having a negative emotion. That thought is like a wave that threatens to overwhelm. And in fact we would be overwhelmed if we remain firm, we will end up underwater. Our skill lies in slipping away, on another wave. Slip on a reality that produces a positive emotion.

try surfing. Just get the feel of a thought wave to negative emotionality shift your mind and your actions to another aspect of reality, which produces a positive emotion. You'll see: if you learn to not be standing there in front of the waves will find that you can surf, improve your life without unnecessary effort to change the reality.


(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment - All Rights Reserved

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As tools to believe in fairy tales I believe in fairy tales

time ago when I worked in the company, I called my boss (a very smart woman) and asked me to handle a problem with a person rather difficult, I should contact by telephone. I was struck by the manner in which assigned me the job. He began by saying: "The first thing you do before you call it, is going to take a nice tea to coffee, take it to the desk, good to relax and get ready to be patient, a great patience, "

With his experience, that woman I was suggesting what to say or how to handle the problem but I was pointing in a simple and clear, what would be the psychological basis for entering into a relationship with that difficult person . I was pointing to the number one tool for believing in the fairy tale for which the other, as thorny and complicated, in reality can become a valid interlocutor, is for us to believe it and take it the right way.

Patience: Do not some complicated technique of neuro-linguistic programming or other bizarre psychological approach. Patience. not some management methodology to be assertive and to take control of the situation. Only patience.

The most important thing to know is that patience is not something you have or not have, something you can do.

We can produce patience. Just stop and wait. Since then I realized that patience is the key to achieving the goals with others. Usually when we experience an unwelcome behavior we tend to react to counterattack. Let's try instead to be patient, believe that that behavior will change. And here the story takes place.


(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved

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When we trust others too, tell us sarcastically that we believe in fairy tales. Trust, assume that people or situations are positive: this is to believe in fairy tales. It gives a lot of advantages. The world around us is positive, and if there is positive we can draw the best. We can get in touch with the best all around us: things or people.

believe in fairytales and beautiful. Children believe in fairy tales, and their world is certainly more beautiful than that of adults. So why adults do not believe in fairy tales? Because they are afraid of being ripped off. But in doing so override the child within them, and with the energy that makes him realize his dreams. And so life becomes gray, sad, tiring.

I believe in fairy tales. I assume that people are friends. And I'll take a few rip-off. Because I follow the instructions to believe in fairy tales. Here they are:

1) I always believe that people are motivated by the best intentions.

2) If I find that people are not moved by the best intentions, I think they're always acting out of weakness. So I accept them. I think about how to manage their weaknesses.

3) If I find that people are not moved by good intentions or bad they are acting out of weakness, I always who have not understood anything. I think we have some sort of disability. Then decide what to do.

After all, there is also the villain in fairy tales, the difference in the lives of all days is that we often have to take some 'time to understand who he is.

( C) Diego Agostini / Commitment - All Rights Reserved

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are you chasing?

I went to visit a friend I had not seen for some time. A great professional, the best known in his field. Unfortunately, due to the unethical behavior of some of its partners, was in the position of having to start all over again. It was no longer the owner of the mark that had stood the customer base for years and that he himself had built.

told me so that now he had to redo all that he had done twenty years before the beginning of his career. Call to potential customers, seeing enough to deal with, write emails with no reply ... "I do not have to do even this," he said.

But even as he told me, I noticed a light in his eyes. A spark of vitality that a bit 'of time I could see. A momentum that has long had. Energy that has long eluded it.

All aim to reach a position where it debano request but granted, but court should not be courted, but should not be chasing achieved. Often people sit comfortably in chairs that allow you to be able to say "no" to ignore, to assume positions of superiority. Positions are more dangerous because they give the illusion of having arrived. They give a strange sense of omnipotence that makes you forget respect for others.

E 'in the position where you have to chase, where you have to struggle to get things that emerge the best resources. E 'in those positions that bring out the positive aggression, the desire to arrive at the result, the resistance to the frustrations, the courage to dare, the ability to recover and continue. E 'in those positions that we become better people because we understand the effort of those who ask and do not ever deny an interview, a phone call, an e-mail.

Are you chasing? Do not worry about fatigue and frustration. Will you get to the finish line, not who is never even started.

(C) Diego Agostini / Commitment 2010 - All Rights Reserved